Relationships / The How-to Guide

How to get over someone.

Getting over someone you loved/dated/had a humongous crush on is probably one of the most emotionally daunting tasks you will ever have to go through. Here are some tips I’ve learned. The hard way (and also by watching my friends go through it, so I assure you these tips are reliable):

  1. Admitting that your relationship is over: This is a tip my bro gave me, he said, “If you still have hope that things will end up working out with this person, you’re not gonna get over them, so loose ALL hope about reuniting and you will get over it”. I couldn’t agree more, accept that it’s over and move on.
  2. Cut all forms of contact with them: I’m not saying you guys shall NEVER be friends, but even if you want to be friends with your ex, you’re gonna have to make sure you have no feelings for them.Get rid of them on social media, at least for a while. You don’t have to block them on Facebook (this is obviously preferred), but you could make sure they don’t pop up on your newsfeed. However, block them on Skype, or msn or anything else! It feels so good.
  3. You will think of them from time to time: Embrace it, you don’t have to run from those thoughts, but don’t overdo it. Remember, the end was the best thing to have happened to you and your ex. Accept the fact that if you truly loved them, you will always care for them and they will too, but sometimes the person you want to be with the most is the person you’re best without.
  4. Stop the nostalgia: Stop allowing your thoughts of them to only be nostalgic, by poring over all your old texts, gifts, and everything that now exists only to upset you and make the past seem irrationally promising. When you find yourself doing this, stop and think of all the things you disliked in the relationship, I assure you there will be plenty. Be realistic about why it ended.
  5. Don’t bottle your feelings: Cry it all out, and assure yourself it’s completely normal to have feelings of grief, sadness or anger.
  6. Spend time with your friends: Relationships will come and go (until you find The One), but your friends will always be there for you, no matter what! So talk about it with your friends if you need to, but try not to whine too much, learn to be concise with your feelings.
  7. Try new things: Read an amazing book and watch a really good movie and learn a new recipe and listen to new music; to be associated only with you and your awesome new life.
  8. Learn to be happy with singularity: don’t concern yourself over when your next relationship is going to be, learn to be happy by yourself so when someone special comes along you guys can share the happiness and get super corny! (I can’t think of a better way to phrase that sentence).
  9. Avoid rebounds: Men usually make this mistake of getting involved with someone else before they’re ready. No one deserves to be led on like that. Take your time to get back in to dating.
  10. Think of the bright side: I remember asking one of my good friends “what is the point of getting in to a relationship when you’re so young, when it’s almost always going to end?” and he said, its how you learn. He’s right, don’t ever regret the relationship, it’s only made you a stronger and wiser person. Remember, everything happens for a reason. I remember I started liking someone when some of my friends (and myself) doubted if I had feelings, but liking someone and then trying to get over it, made me realise that I do have feelings! So the bright side is, you have the ability to love and that truly is a gift. 😀

There really is no right or wrong way to get over someone, but do what’s best for you and you will be ready to love again, just give the time some time.

Khila

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