Recently arranged marriage is something Khila and I talk about on a regular basis, because both of us want an arranged marriage. I know that first sentence had a lot of you going WHUT? They want an arranged marriage? What is wrong with them? : O Give me a chance to explain because in my opinion (and Khila’s) there’s a lot of misconception regarding arranged marriages.
Whenever the topic of arranged marriage comes up I’m faced with either one of the two following responses:
a) What other kind of marriage is there? (Them really traditional people)
b) OMG! Arranged marriages?? That’s so barbaric! (or something really similar)
I want to talk about response (b) as this is what I hear from most people I talk to. I would like to point out to these people; that an arranged marriage does not in any shape or form translate into being forced to marry someone. I do not dispute the fact that there are instances in which individuals are forced into marriage. However I am not going to be writing about such forced marriages but rather arranged marriages which are completely different.
Arranged marriages are common practice in South Asian countries and have been around for many years. They are heavily influenced by cultural and religious factors. An arranged marriage is exactly like a love marriage expect for the fact that the potential groom/bride is chosen by the parents or the elders in the family. Both the bride and groom are consulted by their respective family members before anything is finalised. Some families even allow the two individuals to get to know each other (go out on dates) before saying yes or no. If the girl or the boy feel that the prospective spouse chosen by their families is not to their liking the idea of marriage between the two is no longer entertained. Therefore the wishes and opinions of the individual getting married are always respected and no one is forced into doing something they do not want or feel comfortable with.
There are in fact many advantages to having an arranged marriage, here are a few:
- You don’t have to get your heart-broken multiple times trying to find Mr.Right/Ms.Right. Your parents find him/her for you!
- Anything goes wrong blame your parents!
- Family support is guaranteed.
- Risk of incompatibility is lowered due to similar family and cultural background.
If you personally don’t want an arranged marriage that’s cool but please don’t look at those of us who do like we’re retarded. We’re normal people too and factors such as our culture and religion have influenced our decision and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!